Springtime, Love, Romance, Weddings, and PACMAN?

I have a friend that is planning an April wedding that enticed me to go to a ridiculous website called "The Knot". Anyway, while perusing this asinine waste of digital crapola, I happened upon a somewhat amusing WEDDING. It ain't work safe, trust me.

So, Rhiannon, you think that y'all can top that?

(Hat-tip: Quibbles-n-Bits)

And HERE you will find all the games you remember from the Eighties. Frogger, yea!

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Where in The United States?

This was pretty cool. Seems that I haven't traveled up the Eastern seaboard or to the Pacific Northwest. I knew that but this underlines that fact. Maybe I'll plan a trip pretty soon.

bold the states you've been to, underline the states you've lived in and italicize the state you're in now...

Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C /

Go HERE to have a form generate the HTML for you.


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You Can't Let Blacks Have Guns!?!?! Part Two

I have been consistently attacking the rationale behind the current wave of leaders in the Black community and today shall be no different. Politically correct thought is poisoning our culture throughout the land at all times now. Animal rights, gun control, racial reparations, pro-terrorists sentiments, etal, ad hominem, blah, blah, blah.

Dammit, shut up already, you know that your points are stupid. Just come out and say what you want. You want SOCIALISM. You want to kill any person or idea that might make someone FEEL uncomfortable and the whole time spew the lines that YOUR hate speech is protected by the First Amendment. All speech is protected, no matter how offensive it might be.

Okay, I got a little off topic, so here it is. Gun control kills people in poverty. The people who need guns the most are the people who are unfortunate enough to live in our lower income housing projects and inner cities. The people that advocate any type of gun control want to kill these people.

Does it make sense at all that a single mother who lives in a housing project would NOT carry a gun? Doesn't that seem like she would simply be painting a target on her back? Please, you gotta know this, if we make it a crime to have guns in the government subsidized housing complexes, we might as well just line those people up that live there and shoot them.

Every time control laws are passed, violent crime increases. PERIOD, GAME OVER. The funny thing is that the people that are pushing for these laws know exactly what they are doing. They simply must increase dependence on the government for the people that will continuously vote for them. Hence, socialism.

If you want to have your opportunities limited to the opportunities of the weakest link in the chain, go somewhere that has a socialistic government. Oh, wait, you don't want to live there because everyone is poor? Dammit, that is what socialism does. Dig your head out of your ass, Shirley. Your ideas for a Utopian society have huge, gaping, pus-filled flaws. Oh, but don't let anything like HISTORY get in your way when advocating stupidity.

Anyway, only idiots think that gun control is a good idea. And if you are Black, Hispanic, Catholic, Irish, or some other minority, if YOU think that gun control is a good idea, you are suicidal.

Dave Kopel's PART II.

In case you missed it, PART I.

And in case you want to throw the Separation of Church and State into the equation, which is not in the Constitution in the way that ass-hat Newdow talks about it, read THIS.

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An Idiotic Thing That Made Me Laugh

I spend a good amount of my time wasting time and THIS is no exception. But, I spit Coke all over my keyboard. (Hat-tip to Garfield Ridge)

It's mp3, so it takes a moment to load, but DAMN.

UPDATE: I realized that you might not know what this is, so....it's Chewbacca singing, or whatever you want to call it, "The Facts of Life".

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Racism, Smacism

In our local Jackson, Mississippi paper today, there are two stories of interest to our debate that shed light on race relations in Mississippi.

First article was about the naming of a federal refuge area after Mississippian Hoyt Collier. The first such area dedicated to and named for a black man. (Sorry, I just can't bring myself to utter the words African-American except for people like Teresa Heinz). For those of you that attended government mandated schools, Mr. Collier was the son of slaves that received his fifteen minutes of fame leading President Theodore Roosevelt(R) on bear hunts in our Great State. The legend goes that President Roosevelt, a big game hunter fantabulous, was having trouble bagging any game, so Mr. Collier went out, tracked a bear, knocked it cold with his rifle butt,(DAMN) and tied it to a tree for the President.

Needless to say, a real hunter would never kill the animal in that fashion, and the President declined. After the hunt, President Roosevelt called Mr. Collier, "The Greatest Hunter and Guide that he had ever known." No small feat, because Teddy had been on big game hunts in Africa and the like. Oh, and a little stint leading the Rough Riders up San Juan Hill. (Check it out, he was a bad-ass)

This story prompted the design and release of a new toy, known as the Teddy's Bear. So, from the direct consequence of Mr. Collier, and his insane hunting skills, we all got a toy that offered us many, many hours of joy. All from the son of slaves. Damn, go figure. Who da thunk it?

Same page of the paper, a story about Edgar Ray Killen that has been charged with the murders of three civil rights workers in Neshoba county. The 1964 (the year of my birth, so no, soundboyz, it weren't me) murders were national news and prompted the making of the movie, Mississippi Burning. For you government schoolers, the civil rights workers were: James Chaney, Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner. (Find out about it, it was a turning point in the struggle, Rubberband Man)

Anyhoo, come to find out, the Ku Klux Klan shall make an appearance, they are seeking permission to demonstrate on the Neshoba County Courthouse lawn. Oh this is bound to be fun. There will be like three white dudes wearing bed sheets walking around like morons while minimally 300 folks (all colors) shout them down. Oh, the hilarity that will ensue. Just remember, these KKK guys are NOT from Mississippi, they are from Georgia. We do NOT have a big Klan presence here. We don't take kindly to that kind of nonsense.

So, in the sake of fostering even more wonderful dialogue into the morass that is racism, let's all jump in the Rambler and roll up to Philadelphia, Mississippi and thump us some crackers. And yes, Al, there are some chicken processing facilities in the surrounding areas so you can continue your own personal struggle.

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Good Lord, How Many Mexicans can you fit in one Toyota?

It seems that the best thing for getting my traffic up has been to continually post things regarding racism, so in order to suck up to my capitalist Gods I have to insert titles that draw people hating on (INSERT PROTECTED MINORITY HERE).

Today was completely uneventful aside from the professional size hangaround with which I awoke this morning. You see there are alot of young turks working with me that enjoy dragging the old man out to various night spots and trying to keep him out until Election Day. Walt is the par excellance at this tactic by passing me a small note at 4:30 suggesting we purchase the obligatory single pitcher of God's nectar.

Long story short, the single pitcher wound up being bottomless and I drug my rapidly deteriorating body into the bed at 3:30 am. While I did arise in time to make the hour and half drive to the HBC, I still looked as one colleague described, "Like a homeless person."

Oh yes, I arrived with a king-sized rabbit chasing ongoing, wearing blue jeans, t-shirt, and a three day growth. Not to worry too much soundboyz, I know how persons of color operate, so I greeted my contact with the word, "HOMEY" and you know how much black folks love that. I also followed that line with the always welcome, "My God, I love your hair, can I touch it?" It was all over. Eating from my palm, baby.

So, the CSI Products Show proved to be the same as last year, just smaller. I see all the people that I used to work with the one time every year that I see them and manage to procure about 67 free drink tickets, (yay, Sam) then piss everyone off. It's just the thing I need at this stage of the game. The best part of the evening came when Peaches or Mike-Mike (depending on which side of the family you're on) won the $500.00 Grand Prize giveaway. You think that he offered to spot me a twenty? Nope, I got mine, now you get yours.

Oh, does it creep anyone else out that there could possibly be a dude that remembers everyone's birthday and offers to contribute cornbread for that occasion? Weird, dammit, just plain weird. Sorry, if that offends.

Enough for today, I'll get back to the racial fire stoking tomorrow. I am running on about 12 hours of sleep since Jewvemberday and it is taking its toll. Dammit, a forty-year-old shouldn't live life as a roadie for Widespread Panic. Oh, and if I continue to do it, I will probably never be able to play professional sports.

Anyway, Laura, the one who hates my guts, finally got some wordy-words up on the BLOG that she has been advertising, so you should check it out.

Peace out!

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Obligatory Rant on Racism Today

For those of you who do not know, Mississippi higher education is under court order (The Ayers Case) to equalize the distribution of funds over eight public universities (three of which are historically black universities). I work for a minority owned architecture firm that is trying to snag a good portion of this work. And yes, Shirley, we are the only "minority-owned" firm in the state of Mississippi. When I say "minority" I do not mean female, because females outnumber males like 600 to one. Maybe not that many, it just seems that way. I can't turn around in the shower without some woman telling me that I don't need to eat BUTTER. WTF?

Long story short, we have somehow grabbed a bit of work on a building that was constructed in 1830 and is on the Historic Register of the State of Mississippi as well as the National Historic Register. Can you possibly imagine the hoops that my company must jump through just to get to a bid process on these jobs? Not only do we have to submit all of our proposals to the college and to the government agency in charge of universities here, but we also have to submit all of our work to both Federal and State Archives and History organizations.

My problem with this process began when I received a letter from our State Department of Archives and History recommending that I employ the services of another architecture firm because they have extensive experience in the restoration of historical structures. Not one time did they venture to ask if our firm had that experience, they just assumed that we did not.

That said, I banged out a letter today letting them know that we did not require the services of one of our COMPETITORS to complete the project. I think that I went on the defensive a little too much, but dammit, you think that Wal-Mart calls up K-Mart to see if what they are doing is cool? McDonald's calls Wendy's? Superman calls Batman?

Not to go off on a tangent, but we WANT the work. Not too many other firms want to tackle work that occurs out in no man's land. (There is only one restaurant within twenty-five miles of the job, and it's a Sonic.) Come on folks, let the little guy have a shot at doing the job. He is going to cut you a deal for the first go around, he's probably a pretty good dude, and if he messes the thing up too bad, don't use him again. We just want the chance and who better to do the work on an historically black campus than a black architecture firm?

Oh, and by the way, personally I think that we can do better work than 90% of the other firms in Mississippi and I have experience with the other firms.

Enough about that. What about Al and them damn CHICKENS?

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Bush Appointed WHO? Negroponte?

Hey, that guy is white!!!! WTF?

Go HERE, RIGHT NOW!

Sorry, that just had to happen. I know, I know, it's a damn bad pun, but COME ON, it had to be said. With Mean Ol' Meany's new GUEST BLOGGER you know it did.

But seriously, go HERE for more Black History Month stuff.

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Mr. Baby-Killing Fancy Pants Hijacks the Struggle

Okay, okay, this can't stir up as much traffic as the Black History Month post, but I just thought that the title should obscure the fact that I am going to talk a little more about race, homosexuality, and a lot about Civil Rights Leaders. I changed it from something that was too risque'. Just sucking up to my Google masters.

Is it just me, or do the homosexual rights lobbyists seem somewhat whacked comparing gays to people of color? We talked about physical traits beyond our control this past weekend and everyone seemed to agree with Dr. King. (Content of character vs. Color of skin)

Why would the leaders of the civil rights groups (read as the Rainbow Coalition, NAACP, AL Sharpton) embrace abortionists and homosexuals and put them in the same catagory as say a black person? Have we abandoned the fight for equality of the races to argue that discrimination is also about our opinions? Have these formerly religious organizations abandoned the principals on which they were founded?

Or, as has been previously argued here, have the leaders of these organizations jumped ship from championing the basic premises of their civil rights roots to simply do whatever is necessary to keep their mugs in the spotlight? Or to keep their token standing in the Party of Robert Byrd?

Julian Bond, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton (Dammit Al, CHICKENS?) seem to be doing whatever in their power to diminish the organizations that they control while people who have slaved to pull the NAACP out of bancrupty get quietly, but summarily discarded. Yea, right, he "resigned". Does the name Kwesi Mfume mean anything to you?

Just wondering if I'm the only one that feels this way?

AS USUAL UPDATES: I have had a couple of very interesting debates with soundboyz over the last couple of days and it's been a great learning tool for me. Even though it seems that we have differing opinions on quite a few things, we have still maintained a very civil discourse. If two very opinionated people like us can debate issues of grave importance, why can't two more moderate folks do the same? Anyway, here's MORE fuel for the fire on our discussion. And soundboyz, just please agree that Al has completely lost his frigging mind. THEY ARE CHICKENS!

UPDATE REVISITED: soundboyz and I AGREE!!!!! Al looks stupid supporting the CHICKENS! There shall be world peace, RIGHT NOW!

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Hunter S. Thompson

ASPEN, Colo. - Hunter S. Thompson, the acerbic counter-culture author of books such as "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," fatally shot himself Sunday night at his Aspen-area home, his son said. He was 67.

Where the Buffalo Roam was the first movie that I ever owned, for those who are remotely curious.

Sorry, Erin, I know this is your job.

(Hat-tip: Michelle Malkin)

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Ballet, Opera, and Poetry

You know better. THIS is what I am about.

And THIS is for Rhiannon.

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Black History Month Has to Go!

As you all must know by now, February is Black History Month. I find that in itself to be incredibly ironic or something. You do know that February is the shortest month and the only month that doesn't have a consistent number of days. Conspiracy? Yep, I think so. Hey let's give the black race a special month where that is when we talk about "their" history. Then we won't have to even assume that "Black History" is really just history.

Come on, am I the only one that thinks this is crazy? With this mindset, we can always exclude history that involves people of the black race for the whole year until February and then we can just jump on it for the shortest month of the year. Sounds like one of those Democrat programs. Don't just cover the black race like they are human, let's seperate them 'cause we know if blacks are assimilated, then they will expect to be treated the same way as everyone else. Let's just set aside a special time to talk about "them".

Okay, I am not Black, but I am not stupid either. The people I see on a daily basis are a very good racial mix because I work for an architecture firm that is minority owned. We have a racial make-up that is close to 50-50 black/white. I live in a metropolitan area that has pretty much the same racial divide. I can honestly say that the people I have spent my entire life around are a racially diverse group and I can also say that the only differences that I notice are the varying amounts of pigment in our skin.

Anyhoo, Black History Month is a travesty. I think that the sooner we get to the point of doing away with it, the sooner that we can achieve a true color blind society. I am against anything that draws attention to our differences according to physical traits over which we have no control. The similarities of all people are the things that need to be highlighted.

And to drive my point into the ground, here are the links to people who think like me.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Deroy Murdock

Dr. Thomas Sowell

Oh, and guess what? They are all not white.

UPDATE: Another irony occurred right after I posted this article. My Google ads popped up with a link to Indian Bloggers. Funny shizzle.

UPDATE DEAUX: My friend Curtis agrees with me on this issue. It was great to him this weekend, he always has such cogent arguments, but he is on the wrong side of the juicing issue, if I do say so myself.

UPDATE RELOADED: I have been scouring the web for more on this debate and I happened upon this BLOG. Man, they have done their homework. (Hat Tip: The Black Republican) And check THIS out!

UPDATE REVOLUTIONS: Nzyme, I too like the corn pone, hip-hop, r&b, Mexican food, etal. Don't care much for the greens though, I would rather have the black-eyed peas.

My point is that if the histories are separated, the continuity of the learning experience is diluted. History operates on a chronological timeline and all of the points are linear. If we set aside one month of the year for our kids to study "Black History", we take that history out of its context. Our children began to segment their history rather than seeing certain events in the proper context. They fail to connect Dr. King with the turbulent times of the Vietnam War, which I see as incredibly relevant.

Oh, and I have determined from this point on that May is Women's Month. Not history, mind you, but it shall be the month from this point forward that men shall bow down and serve everything that women want. Then men will get the remaining eleven months for the same purpose.

UPDATE DAMMIT, NO MORE MATRIX MOVIES: This keeps getting more and more involved but I shall persevere. Found THIS tidbit about gun control and, yes, Shirley, it has to do with the topic at hand. (Hat-Tip: The Mulatto Advocate)

LAST UPDATE: For your information, it was Claudette Colvin that was the first black to get arrested for not giving up her seat. She just wasn't a good defendant for the desegregation issue because she was fifteen and pregnant. Sorry, it's the truth.
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STEROIDS: Independent Minded Insignificant Nobody Chimes In

Much ado has been made about athletes taking steroids and juicing, especially here in the last couple of weeks with Jose Canseco's new book coming out. Ben Shapiro wrote an ARTICLE on this very topic.

While I do believe that Mr. Shapiro is an extremely intelligent young man,(I read his stuff religiously) I must politely disagree with his take on this problem.

I consider myself one, crazed sports lunatic, except for hockey, and I WANT these guys to juice if they want to. I want to turn on my television and see a guy that weighs 650 pounds, with arms the size of tree trunks, hit a ball 650 feet. (One foot per pound) I want to see a guy that is six feet eight inches tall, weighing 425 pounds run a 4.3 second forty yard dash. I want to put mics on everyone on the field and hear, I mean HEAR, the hits.

I do not want the administrative bookworms telling me that so-and-so should have an asterisk by his name in the record books because he inhaled depleted uranium. Barry juiced? Dammit, you know he did. Maguire? Yep. Sosa? See a pattern here?

A little side note here: If you think for one second that Sammy Sosa did NOT know that his bat was corked, you are living on another planet. He knew just as all real gamers would know if that bat was 1/32" smaller, or 1/16 of an ounce lighter. Sammy, you are full of crap and are ruining the game acting all innocent about this. He should be banned for life, just like Shoeless Joe Jackson. Look it up if you don't know what I am ranting about.

My point is this, when you get to the level of your game that these guys are, you have to have some advantage. Do I want to watch Jason Giambi on steroids or not? Give me the Giambi that had 38 inch biceps every time. Give me the Barry with the hands like canned hams. Give me the Maguire with the Secretariat looking face, okay, he always looked like that, but you know what I mean.

If you want to watch a bunch of accountants and librarians play sports, turn on soccer or curling. Give me the John Henry-esque looking dudes that frighten small children and feminists. Give me the guys with the Teddy Kennedy shaped heads and physical builds that throw planets out of orbit.

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Movies, Bars, Live Music, NASCAR

This weekend promises to be one of little enjoyment for me. I have no plans to do anything other than work. So, I have decided to put up some suggestions of things for y'all to enjoy for this weekend, just because that is the kinda doooooood I am.

Here we go:

In Jackson: Nothing, not a damn thing, nada, nix, nil, donuts.

In Daytona: The Daytona 500.

That makes Daytona at least one billion times more interesting than Jackson this weekend even though I despise car racing. Sorta like a dog chasing its tail. Kinda like talking to someone that only talks about one thing. The kind of person you wish had a book stand attached to their face. You have a friend like that and you know who I am talking about.

Anyhoo, there used to be a group of architects and sundry support personnel in Jackson to do this Beer-Thirty thing every Friday night, go out to Musiquarium (the best bar ever, come back to us, Chris Carothers, you are missed) to blow off steam and NOT bitch about the job. We had rules for the meeting and they were rarely broken. I got called under the carpet by Chris Baldwin for talking about work one time. That is a for-real drinking club.

Now, it's just a few of the old time regulars that attend. Hoist one for me, you guys, you are in my thoughts.

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Rock and Roll Fistfight TBA

I posted an article a few days ago regarding RnRF and got a couple of responses. This concept evolved from listening to the original version of a song and then a cover. I enjoyed listening to the evolution of the songs over the course of decades and decided to make this a recurring theme.

So far, only one commenter has suggested any songs. John(not my real name) suggested "Use Me" by Widespread Panic and Bill Withers, a great song and two great versions, and "People Who Died" by the Truckers and Jim Carroll, another great song. These beg the question, "Who in their right mind would choose to call themselves something like "John"? I mean, when you are searching for an alias, do human waste receptacles always immediately come to mind? Why not various parts of the alimentary canal? Why not different stages of the digestive procedure?

Anyhoo, I have decided to postpone the second round of RnRF until someone else shows a little bit of interest. Until that time, I will continue to scour the music archives for some other candidates for this little experiment. Oh, and until that time I propose that John(not my real name) reconsider his alias. I'm thinking that 'bidet' would be an exellent choice.

Just a little note: I ran across another blog this past week that I have started reading. Here's a SAMPLE.

Later.

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Social Security? Yea, Right!

I have been putting together all the things that I need for completing my tax returns and perusing my various tax forms. Do you actually realize how much you pay in FICA taxes? Dammit, I am much displeased. It seems that I get more and more mad at the Congressmen (and women, dammit) for saying they don't want to "mess" with Social Security. Okay, let's look at this from a rational point of view.

Do you think for one second that the people that are "serving" our interests in our nation's capitol think about our well being? Come on, you can't be that stupid. They are there for one reason and one reason only. It's to get as much as they can (FOR THEMSELVES) while the getting is good. Come on, Einstein, you just have to know that.

Let's look at the Federal government for just a second. I am not talking about one party or the other. I have come to realize that the Party of Lincoln is just as guilty as the party of the morons of spending MY (yes, MY) damn money on stuff that I do not need. All I think that the Federal government should be committing money to is military might. The Constitution says to provide for the common defence (yes, they spell it defence), general welfare, and some other minor things you can read HERE.

If you want to nit-pick, maybe general welfare could be perverted to mean "Support every citizen for as long as he/she may live", but I think that the Framers just meant this to mean "Stay the Hell outta everyone's way".

My stance on this Social Security issue is this: I don't think that any Congressman would agree to remove his/herself from the Thrift Savings Plan(read about their benefits HERE) because they know it would be stupid, but they want to deny us (the damn citizens) the opportunity to have the same retirement program that they enjoy. And guess what? They are vested in a program that uses mutual funds, private stocks, and municipal bonds. Hey, wait, that's investing in that RISKY private sector too!

President Bush's Social Security re-vamping plan is based on our federal government's retirement plan. You would have to be a dunce, an evil person, or a moron to try to keep this plan away from the people that you were elected to represent.

We, the voters, should DEMAND that our elected representatives push this plan through the Congress so we do not have to depend on anyone else to pay for our retirement. I love you, but I do not want to have to support you for the rest of my damn life.

That's just my opinion, what do you think?

UPDATE: Greenspan endorses Social Security overhaul. Every time Greenspan says something, everyone listens like it's Moses talking. So here's a LINK to the sermon on the mount.

Welcome to those from The Best of Me Symphony. Please stick around and come back.

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Funny Stuff

Oh, dude, you have to see THIS!

And we are going to do the second installment of Rock and Roll Fistfight on Wednesday. Get your suggestions in quickly so I can get the music together.

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Terri Schindler

There is a post over on The Black Republican about Terri Schindler. She has been in the hospital for quite some time now and her "husband" continues to try to have her feeding tube removed. Read THIS post and then go HERE. Ann Coulter has written about it as well. Terri's parents need our prayers.

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Fun Links & Quips

Best Breakdancer in the world! It's a windows media file and takes a couple of seconds to load. Have patience, Grasshopper.

A friend of mine from college just signed up to blogspot. Go hit her site at the end of the week. GO ON FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY!

From one of my daily reads, an old Protein Wisdom quote talking about Kerry: Why read Kos when you can read Malkin? Which, come to think of it, is a lot like asking, why open your thigh with a paring knife and fill the wound with salt when you can watch unicorns cure cancer by feeding candy to happy clowns? . Priceless.

Oh, and I have been checking my referrals and see that this site is getting some long views. Come on folks, make the comments. I need more friends. And you can comment anonymously.

And a Hat-tip to The Last Boy Scout, thanks for the traffic Josh.

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Ward Churchill, Not an Indian, Part II

I batted this Ward Churchill thing around a little bit on Thursday and I feel that a little more hollering is due.

Okay, it's basically common knowledge that I am somewhat right of Dubya, but I don't think that I am being unreasonable here. Churchill is simply off the reservation (pun most definitely intended) when he denigrates our troops in his "academic" writings, but not one leftist academic calls him on it. However, an Ivy League College President gets railed for presenting his opinions and feminists get a hugely queasy over it. Jonah Goldberg has a great article comparing the two occurrences.

Is it just me, or has the Feminist Movement become so irrelevant as to rival only Al "KFC is Mean to Chickens" Sharpton? Come on, you are supposed to be tough chicks. Put on a cup and let's get down to it. But noooooooooo, a mean, ol' man said something that makes us want to vomit and we have to run out of the room, tail firmly between our legs.

My completely unintelligent statement is this, "Men and women are probably different, maybe." Get over it. And Al, I'm guessing that this direction you're heading is not unlike the Tawana Brawley stuff you brewed up so many years ago. How in the MORTAL HELL is a chicken remotely equal to a human? Remember my trip to the chicken plant last week? I know a little about chickens. Minorities should get upset when their "champions" do this to themselves. Represent the Struggle, ass-hat. Or better yet, quit the struggle and leave it to people like LaShawn Barber. HERE'S what she thinks.

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Rachel Does What She Does, When She Does What She Does.

At some point, I will develop the uncanny ability that Rachel has to sort through the crap and write meaningful stuff like THIS.

Just jumping around on commentor's pages and decided to link a hometown blogger that comments on odd news articles. Really astute arguments and funny, too. Check it out, RIGHT NOW!

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The Typical Friday Night for the Meanies

As usual, the workweek ended with the first string headed out to make an impact on nightlife in our Capitol City. Judging by normal standards, it was a pretty uneventful evening aside from the ass-handing episode at Last Call. Two Dogs repeatedly received a thorough trouncing at the billiards table by some dude (think Vincent off The Color of Money) that obviously had appeared just to make everyone look like ass-clowns.

Even Walt got beat-up. He took it better than I did.

From there our soiree took a very odd turn. Seems the most beautiful woman in the world was performing at a local night club and Walt and I simply had to attend.

(Click Images below at your own risk, they were linked from MadKats)

Long story short, turns out that the club was not a typical fare spot. Seems that Mr. Walt and I were just about the only ones there that didn't bat from the left-side of the plate and to make matters even more interesting, I was the only person in the whole place that was not able to get my NAACP membership card.

Needless to say, my lack of pigmentation offered me very little chance to hide from the Emcee who proceeded to train the spotlight on me and ask me questions. It was all cool though and the highlight of the adventure came from Walt's retelling of the excursion into the restroom. Turns out, that Walt is "One, mean, straight guy." Damn, I wish I a recording of Walt (obviously drunk) telling the story to me (obviously drunk). The funniest thing you ever heard. I think that I am going to get him to tell the story when we get our drink on again.

This said, service was really good, all the bartenders were men (I'm a man, get it?), the show was really bizarre, and Beyonce was too damn hot. I just gotta have babies with this girl.

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American Double Hero

I just ran across this story on Blackfive. It makes me so proud that some of our young people have become such solid citizens.

God Bless You, Marine Corporal Peter Regan, you are an inspiration to us all.

UPDATE: Just so you don't forget, not all citizens are as patriotic.

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Ward Churchill, Not an Indian

I have really, really tried to not let this Ward Churchill flap get to me. Everyone and his damn brother knows that college professors are for the most part radical leftists. However, I made the mistake of going to David Horowitz's website today and dammit, there was an article about Churchill. So, here goes my damn rant.

For those of you who don't know who this guy is, Churchill is a tenured professor of "Ethnic Studies" at the University of Colorado. He claims to be one of us, "People Who were Here Before Columbus Discovered the Western Hemisphere", but his claims are dubious. I have read so many articles that completely discredit his claims, but none so succinct as my future wife's article. I love you, Ann. See you soon. Yea, I know, I think about you all the time, too. You are so sweet. Uhhhh, sorry, lost my train of thought there.

Seems Mr. "I'm a Better Indian Than All the Real Indians" has a little problem with calling the victims of the TERRORIST attack on the World Trade Center, "Little Eichmanns". You know who Eichmann was, don't you, Einstein? Go HERE if you attended Government sponsored schools in the last twenty years for your Eichmann primer.

Anyhoo, the Two Dogs take on this crap is this: If parents who send their little crumb crunchers to UC don't start to appeal to the higher-ups at junior's college, they deserve every bit of payback that is coming toward them. When Little Johnny receives his degree and proceeds to spit in Daddy's face, don't come crying to me. You done screwed the pooch on this one all by yourself.

Anyway, you just gotta read this stuff. Go learn about this dude for yourself. HERE, HERE, and Frank J offers wisdom HERE.

Two Dogs says, "Mr. Churchill, Billy Jack, you ain't."

UPDATE: Protein Wisdom actually has a picture of Billy Jack, if'n you don't know who he is.

And Iowahawk presents one in his series of TV Classics, "Chutch".

UPDATE AGAIN: And to prove that I am an objective person, I decided to put a link to intelligent dialogue defending Churchill, but I could not find a single instance of arguments from the Dark Side.

UPDATE CUBED: This is just simply amazing. Where do THESE people come from? They are so absolutely clueless that they bestowed an award to perennial ass-hat Michael Newdow. (Hat tip: Little Green Footballs)

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Absolutely Working my *ss off Here!

All morning long I have played Rock and Roll Fistfight and here are the results:

Card Number One
Warren Haynes vs. Van Morrison Into the Mystic. Warren Haynes in the second round. He actually threw a thumb to the eye and Van went down.

Card Number Two
Warren Haynes vs. The Rolling Stones Sympathy for the Devil. This was a short one, Haynes knocks them out in the first.

Card Number Three
Guns N Roses vs. Paul McCartney Live and Let Die. Damn, it was like taking candy from a baby. Guns in the first.

Final Card
Guns up against Bob Dylan Knockin' on Heaven's Door. Another easy fight for the boys of Guns. Dylan falls.

And finally Guns N Roses trips back to '91 to lay out both albums. Damn, they are missed badly. Axel, get help baby, we need you to get back to form.

I am taking requests for future Rock and Roll Fistfights on the comments. Please ante up.

Best of the Blogs

Frank J has published quite possibly the best article on Eason Jordan's claims that Marines are targeting reporters. Here it is in its entirety. I cannot compete with this. Insert humble bow here.

Gotta Target Something
I had to assume that someone as esteemed as Eason Jordan of CNN was telling the truth, so I asked a number of troops why they target reporters. The common answers given happened to be ten in number, so:

THE TOP TEN REASONS GIVEN BY U.S. TROOPS FOR TARGETING REPORTERS

10. "A bullet is just the same as saying, 'No comment.'"

9. "One person’s Reuters reporter is another person's terrorist."

8. "It's a common sentiment among Marines that the coverage of the Michael Jackson trial is particularly slanted."

7. "Those cameras look quite a bit like a rocket launchers... you know, if you squint a bit and ignore the reflection off the lens."

6. "Running out of other targets."

5. "Actually targeting any anti-American wackos, but reporters just happen to be the most available examples."

4. "One asked me what kind of tree I would be, and I didn't take a liking to it."

3. "Was cleaning the tank and it accidentally went off. What of it?"

2. "They were unable to answer who won the last World Series, so I assumed them to be Soviet spies."

And the number one reason given by U.S. troops for targeting reporters…

"They're reporters."

What's up, Erin?

Our Wonderful News Media

Just picked this up from NewsMax. I can't verify the truthfulness, 'cause I gotta bring home the cheese right now. From NewsMax:

An NBC News cameraman pled guilty in Philadelphia on Monday to attempting to sell banned technology to Iran.

Erik Kyriacou, 24, of North Babylon, New York, had been charged with four federal counts, including trying to export technology to an "axis of evil" country, reported Long Island's Newsday.

Kyriacou was arrested in April after offering four Astroscope night-vision lenses for sale on eBay. In January 2004 he was contacted by an undercover customs agent posing as an international arms trader named "Akbar," who explained he wanted to deliver them to Iran.

After agreeing on an $8,000 sale price with the undercover agent, the NBC lensman shipped the banned material to an address in Vienna, Austria, Newsday said, sourcing court papers.

The lenses were stolen from NBC, where Kyriacou worked as a news cameraman, according to prosecutors.

Kyriacou faces up to 35 years in prison and a $1 million fine, although his attorney, Robert Welsh, told Newsday he expected his client to receive a far less severe sentence.

If this report is true, I believe that you have to call this typical MSM employee, "An Insurgent" and send him to Gitmo.

Dammit, what have we let loose in our country?

Time to Name my Favorite Pork Products

1. Link Sausage (not patty, dammit)
2. Bacon (not Canadian, dammit)
3. Breakfast Chops (not Butterfly, dammit)
4. Pork Loin (not sliced, dammit)
5. Barbeque (again not sliced, dammit)
6. Okay, Butterfly Chops (not fried, dammit)
7. Roasted Ham (not smoked, dammit)

I guess that's my list. Man, I hope I get some pork for Valentine's Day instead of that sissy chocolate crap.

Oh, and just to kill time, remember that Karate Kid thing with the chopsticks? Go HERE, Daniel-san.

Drive-By Truckers Rule!

1. Just got in from a long day on the road. Had to go to one of Mississpippi's HBC's (Historically Black Colleges, Einstein) today and it rained the whole way there and the whole way back. Our firm is working on a renovation for a building that was constructed in 1830. The place has been unoccupied for eight years and no one seems to realize that a building will revert to nature if allowed to do just that. Dammit, a logical thought process is what separates us from the three-toed overland sloth.

2. A question that I have for y'all is this, "Why, oh why, will someone continue to talk to you about something that is completely uninteresting even after you roll your eyes, sigh deeply, hold your breath until you turn purple, and attempt to place a phone call, all while they are still talking about the most boring things that you have ever had the misfortune to hear?"

3. Is it just me or has the moron class taken over management? I mean, come on, damn, can't we all just be adults? Being a good supervisor means being able to understand when your subordinates are immensely more intelligent than you. Assign the task and go drink a latte or have sex with your secretary. Isn't that what you do for a living anyway?

4. Today is Fat Tuesday and Drunk Architect had a link to the BourbonCam on his website. Why would any self-respecting woman think that it is a good idea to show her chest for some plastic beads? "Beads? Sure, look at these!" Why beads? Why not real jewelry? Why not something like Bill's Deer Jerky? At least that would make some sense to me. 'Cause that's some wicked jerky.

5. I don't normally make a point to go off on some dumb-ass tangent, but I deserve this rant time. I am just about at the end of the chain with my patience thing.

6. By far the most talented touring band at this particular point in time is the Drive-by Truckers. You just gotta love their music and energy. Check 'em out if they come close to your town.

Gotta go drink some Drano and read some Frank. Sorry about the rant.

From the Blogosphere

Just killing time tonight trying to get the old brain rolling again after the party last night (see post below) and staggered across this. I thought Erin and Rhiannon might like it. Hell, I did.

Also, as I am prone to do, I was reading some old posts at Rachel Lucas' Blog, and staggered across THIS GUY. Goldstein has a violently good sense of humor and just check out the picture on the "About" link. Got a hat damn near identical to mine. He goes down on the must read section by his former wrasslin' name, "Jewzilla". I'm starting to become a huge blog reader. Like I got that kinda time. Damn.

UPDATE: Reading some more humor from Protein Wisdom and ran across his Philosophy Primer. His paraphrasing of Martin Buber: Or, to put it another way: baby, you complete me. Now, stop already with the blushing ingénue act and strap that thing on while I run and fetch the midget. Damn Genius, damn.

UPDATE AGAIN: You must go here, RIGHT NOW! Do it, damn you!

Stuff about the Super Bowl

We had a Hella Super Bowl party last night and I was afraid to open my eyes this morning from the fear of bleeding to death. Got to work about two hours late and everyone there (just about) commented on the fact that I looked OLD this morning. Hell, I felt dead.

Anyway, the majority of people didn't watch the game for the football, but they watched it for THIS. All the commercials are there and the little play window thing just keeps bringing them up in the order that they ran.

I actually thought it was a pretty good, but boring game. The party was pretty tame until Erica went and acted a fool. She was too damn funny and what about those jeans? Damn.

Cutest Things in the World

I found some pictures on Yahoo News. If you look at this, prepare yourself to go, "Awwwwwwwwww". That's a quote from somewhere, I just can't remember where, sorry.

Momma says, "They is so cute."


Here, you can see anywhere in the solar system at any time. (Hat Tip: Freethinkerslaves)

UDATE: I just tried to look at the Earth in the year 2015 on the site above, and guess what? IT AIN'T THERE!

NEW UPDATE: Murray actually went through the space thing and figgered out that the WORLD will end sometime between December 2009 and January 2010. Better get your drink on.

THE WORLD'S BEST SEARCH ENGINE

I have almost burst my gut doing nothing but using This Search Engine. Some of the talent on the Web is truly inspiring. From what Genius planet do these people hail? Henceforth, this site will maintain a permanent place on the Side Bar. Search Like Hella Pimp!

And not only can you search, you can translate!!!!!

Abe Lincoln say:

Fizzle score n seven years ago, our forefatha brough fizzorth on this continent a new nation conceived in liberty n dedicated ta tha proposizzles tizzy all men is created equal.

Hit me back, playa!

Too Funny!

I am just jumping around the Blogs today, itching for a fight or something and came across this GEM. Wonder how I missed this one for so long? And is it really mean to do this to an unsuspecting world?

Friends and Neighbors

I am a huge reader and one of my good friends is a huge writer. Go read her stuff. Her website HERE. She just finished a book deal that will make her rich and famous. Best of luck, Erin.

Another of my friends is the GREATEST HOME DESIGNER IN THE WORLD. If you need to get drawings for a ridiculously large home, go HERE, now. And he is a pretty good guy, too.

This concludes our gratuitous plugs for our homeys.

Look at Zakeia's EYES!

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GI Joe Update

The Blogosphere keeps doing its job to completely discredit the MSM. Read more HERE. This is priceless.

This comes from one of my Daily Reads, The Black Republican.

GI Jooooooooooooooooooooooooe!

UPDATE: Chris at The Black Republican adds more to the fire.

Is this a great country or what?

When I finally got around to catching up on the news, I noticed that there was an update on the guy that was pinned in the train and scrawled a message to his wife and kids in his own blood.

It seems that every time you turn around, you see ordinary people living their ordinary lives, and getting extraordinary results. Man, we live in the greatest place on Earth, no wonder there are all kinds of people willing to do whatever it takes to come here.

God Bless America and anyone who loves us.

The Daily Blog Awards From Two Dogs

I was doing my daily reading and happened upon quite possibly the Funniest Blue-Eyed Infidel post ever. It is a timeless classic.....

For those of you who bat from the left-hand side of the plate, here's a list of favorite slang terms for "Sword-swallowers".

Always my favorite humor site, FrankJ and his take on the World.....


And the absolute Best New Blog in the World:


YOU! Visit these sites, RIGHT NOW!

Time to Try to Pick up Chicks

All my single friends have been talking about the best way to get the hook-up. I joined a website today that is sure to bring in the ladies. Wish me luck.

Gods Gifts to Women


Now, where did I put those condoms?

Thursday is Stupid.

Pretty much all the days of the week make sense to me except Thursday. Why in the world would someone decide to do anything on Thursday? Think about it. Monday, well everyone hates Mondays, Tuesdays are two fer. Two drinks, two songs, two Blue Plate Specials all for the price of one. Wednesday=Hump Day. Friday is the beginning of the weekend and usually payday. Dammit, everyone loves Friday. Saturday, you get to sleep late and do stupid things in the afternoon. Sunday is Mass and chicken, potato salad, and that congealed Jello crap on the lawn, then back to Manic Monday.

Thursdays suck. Why can't we have a free chicken and beer Thursday? Oh wait, we can.

FREE BEER AND CHICKEN!!!!

Relationships, DAMMIT!!!

I am not in a relationship, unless you can consider head in a moving vehicle that. However, it seems that all my friends are dealing with one of the big situations that come with being involved with someone. Marriage, unexpected pregnancy, husband=Mean Ol' Meany, wife=crazed monster. I am the ultimate king at complete failure at relationships. Why in the tee-total mortal Hell would someone ever come to me with a problem? Because obviously, they are even more screwed up than I could ever possibly be. God, please help us all.

How did the human race ever survive? Well, maybe it didn't and you are all here for my enjoyment. All humans are my life-sized action figures. Yay, look, free doughnuts!

I'm not bitching.

Life in the Factory

I spent the majority of my morning at a chicken processing facility in the backwoods in Mississippi. The people that run this plant are the backbone of our American society and it makes me proud to be associated with down-home folks such as these. Which begs the issue, do the people in Iraq have the intestinal fortitude to create the environment that we have in this country? I say yes.

Pray for the people in Iraq to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and let's hope it's not a freight train.

GI Joe

A friend of mine posted a link on his blog to GI Joe public service announcements yesterday and today look at this.

DrunkArchitect puts Joe in a bad place

Drunkarchitect virtually assured that COBRA would get into the terrorism game. Way to go John (Not my real name).

Here's the link to Drunk Architect's post, Go here RIGHT NOW, MEANIES.


Oh, and leave that alone, you'll go blind. Remember, you're Catholic.