Redux: Economics, The Two Dogs Way

While my posts on a weekend seem to be for the most part unread, I still like to do it. I guess that I can just hash out some of my opinions without debate with anyone other than myself, so here I go....

It seems that there are still some people that think that a minimum wage is a good idea, and no matter what you tell them, they continue to hold this concept dear to their heart. While I don't think that these people are evil as a rule, I do believe that they are so completely misinformed as to lean toward becoming evil. Ah Hell, they're evil.

I cited this particular case as a basis for my argument (and yes it's me): A seventeen year old male enters the workforce upon high school graduation. Not knowing exactly what this male wants to do for the rest of his life, he decides to get a job in construction because of an interest in building. Watching things go together (the ol' in-out, in-out) has always been interesting to our hero so he applies for a job as a laborer for Gianormous Construction Company Inc. Let's call him 'Adonis' for ease of story-telling.

Anyhoo, Adonis starts his meteoric rise to the pinnacle of the business world raking in a whopping five dollars per hour. That was a weekly net pay of $181.50. (For those economically challeged people, there are taxes that are taken from your check that make the "net pay" less than if it was straight math of hours times rate) Minimum wage at this particular point in time hovered right around $3.35/hour (which would have been $134.00 in just staight compensation). Adonis spent the majority of his day pushing a broom around a construction site and quickly became bored with his tasks. He approached Mr. Big-time Construction Dude and asked for more compelling tasks that were better suited for his talents. He moved up to a post of carrying around heavy things for a welder. Mr. Welder-Man quickly realized that Adonis had good skills and a desire to work hard.

Needless to say, Adonis was again charged with harder tasks and was "awarded" greater compensation. Within two years, Adonis was making $11.00/hour. Wow! That is over two times the beginning wage!

Now for the fun stuff. In the same time frame, minimum wage stayed about the same, so therefore Adonis' salary was worth the rate he was paid, $11.00/hour. If in fact the minimum wage had been increased from 3.35/hour to say 10.00/hour in the same time frame, Adonis salary had in fact been decreasing in regards to the minimum wage which actually dictates to price of everything from a Big-Mac to dental dams. (I bring up dental dams because our hero was ADONIS and had no shortage of fawning women and he never failed to please. Hey, look up at me!)

Every single thinking person can understand this concept, but it seems that there are close to 49% of Americans that do not think, so I will explain this s-l-o-w-l-y. It is very easy to understand that if an employer is FORCED to pay basically unskilled workers a certain amount of money per hour, he must adjust his end cost to cover that wage. If he does not, he will go out of business. You see, business is not a zero sum game, Mr. Business Owner has to reach a place in earnings where he receives what is known as "PROFIT". Granted, 49% of Americans think that profit is evil, but they fail to understand that is why a business is there. Oh, it would be GREAT if it was just to serve the community, but face it, Gomer, there is NO OTHER REASON THAN TO MAKE A PROFIT. He has to do this in order to afford to send his wealthy little girl, Buffy, to Vassar and to move up in the wine and cheese circles, because his wife, Trixi, has to have a better dress than that trollop, Betty Sue Ann, down the street.

Now the ugly stuff: If Mr. Business Owner fails to achieve this plateau of nirvana known as "SUCCESS", he will not have the damn jobs to award to the minimum wage guy in the first place.

The Two Dogs conclusions: Profit=Good. Minimum wage=stupid, bad, evil lunacy.

Oh, and for Tom and Travis, I know this is an overly simplistic view of things, so don't just make me look too bad. But, y'all probably don't know how to talk to children anyway. Trust me this had to be done.

UPDATE: What happened to Adonis, you ask? He moved up in the construction field until he got to a point that either he had to start his own construction company or either go back to college to receive a degree in architecture. Did Adonis finish his degree? Yep, he received his BA in 2002 (twenty years after high school graduation) and is now employed with Major Architecture Firm Incorporated. At some point in the very near future, he will approach the salary that he was making at Gianormous Construction Company Inc. and far exceed that in subsequent years. While he enjoys being paid ridiculous sums of money modeling for "Sexiest Man Alive Magazine", it is still just a hobby. Oh and he runs a "humor" blog on the side and patiently awaits his death by wild boar.

UPDATE 2: I am throwing my support behind the dark horse candidate, Travis Benning, for any damn thing he decides is worth his talents. Carrying the one...patience, just a little patience....Benning for President/2020!

UPDATE C: Welcome all of you from the Carnival of the Capitalists!

UPDATE 7: Welcome all from the Best of Me Symphony. Look around a bit, if you don't mind. Front page HERE.



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