Erik R. Fleming - Inspiration for the Short Bus

Our Mississippi State Legislature has introduced the legislation under consideration for this upcoming year and one representative stands head and shoulders above the rest for introducing idiotic proposals to the grown-ups in the State House. Of the 518 pieces of legislation under review by the Mississippi House of Representatives, 109 were offered by Erik R. Fleming. Almost all are proven to be bad ideas by the complete and utter failure of Socialism and other forms of Communism around the globe. But who's counting on history to repeat itself?

Let's look at just a few of the WONDERFUL ideas that Mr. Fleming has in store for us.

First out of the gate is the abolishment of the death penalty by 2014. HB 4 calls for the death penalty to be abolished by 2014 and to prohibit dealth penalty cases after January 1, 2007. Hey, guess when the murder rate is going to scoot right through the roof if Erik has his way?

Next up is HB 8 that prohibits the Zero Tolerance rules in schools from July 1, 2006. Guess when the kids are going to be allowed to start bringing guns to school and killing anyone that has a cross word for the students? But, don't sweat that too much because the law will also allow the Principal to examine those violations on a case by case basis. Guess whose kids will have free reign to do whatever they want on school grounds?

Third will be HB 11 that requires State employee salaries to stay above the National poverty line. Great idea, Erik. Let's pay our part-time janitors more than $22,000 a year. Man, I wish I knew how to operate a mop because I would just have to work a three day work week and still receive 145% of the average Mississipian's salary.

HB 17 restores Robin Lewis' voting rights after being convicted of Felony Robbery. Is there anyone that still maintains an IQ of 45 that still thinks it a good idea for felons to vote?

HB 25 creates THE STUDENT ACHIEVEMENT GUARANTEE IN EDUCATION ACT which would limit class size to fifteen students per class. Even though every single study has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that class size has NOTHING to do with test scores, let's mandate the 15:1 student to teacher ratio. I think that Erik should attempt to reduce the ratio to 1:1. He is simply not being ambitious enough in this little slice of stupidity pie.

HB 35 exempts damn near everything from seizure for civil damages, if you defraud everyone you know and lose in civil court. Erik thinks that it is a good idea to exempt your Federal Earned Income Tax Credits, personal property, such as clothes and furniture, and your checking account. I guess he should have just abolished civil suits altogether because from this bill there would be no way to collect the money owed.

HB 53 would allow medicinal uses of Marijuana. Thank goodness he brings this up because my gout is about to go crazy on me and I need a fat spliff to maintain my appetite.

HB 86 provides penalties for price gouging. Coupla' words here. I would have paid fifteen dollars a gallon the day after Katrina to keep me from sitting in a gas line for three hours. Is this gouging? No, because I would have willingly paid that. Erik, you do not understand anything in regards to Capitalism and your constituents obviously don't either.

One of my favorites is HB 112. It would create a program known as "Am I the Dumbest Human in the World?" or as Erik likes to call it "The Good Faith in Employment Act". This hunk of legislation tells me that I cannot fire someone from my business unless I have a reason based on sound business practices. I'm guessing that complete incompetence wouldn't fall under that scope because Erik couldn't recognize incompetence if it bit him on the ass.

Another favorite is HB 129 which would require Mississippi employers to pay their employees 15% above federal minimum wage. Don't get me started on minimum wage because the dude that made my Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese today would make almost six dollars an hour if Erik gets his way.

And last but certainly not least, Erik introduces House Concurrent Resolution 1 that requests that the Mississippi delegation to the United States Congress request a commission to be established to study the need for reparations for slavery. Whew!

Okay, let's check out the need for reparations for decendants of slaves. It seems that there is a move underfoot to try to eek out some dust for the folks that were promised forty acres and a mule. I am not opposed to that at all if you were a slave. But it seems that none are still surviving. Okay, let's just say that we will pay reparations to the subsequent two generations of the slaves. Here comes that damn math thing again.

Slavery was abolished in 1862 in the slave states. Just for the sake of the argument, let's use the age of ten as the studied slave age for ease of calculations. If you were a ten year old slave then and are still alive, you are 153 years old. Not happening, so let's go with the next generation. If you are the offspring of a slave, you are eligible.

Again going with the ten year old number, you have children at the age of fifty, just to push the envelop. Your child is 103 years old in 2005. Okay still not happening even with having kids at the age of fifty.

Second generation kids could be as young as 53 years of age if we use the model of having kids at fifty. That would mean that you were born in 1952. I think that we should ask any Black person that was born before 1952, if they are descendants of slaves or their offspring if they want reparations. From this point we could ascertain the NEED to continue the debate for slavery reparations.

Anyway, there are many reasons that I am against reparations and only one in which I could ever agree to it. You would have to present definitive proof that you were a descendant of a person that was a slave of course, but you would have to show me in no uncertain terms how your success has been undermined by the memory of slavery in general.

The final thought on the matter is this. The only people who would be forced to pay reparations are the ones that benefitted from slavery. Not one single person that came to this country after slavery was abolished would be liable for the debts of the slave owners. To call out an entire race because of the actions of a few is irresponsible in a world where thinking people rule. Hell, I even got a German friend and it seems that they have this thing about killing Jews, Blacks, and homosexuals. Damn Crackers.