Quotes and Who Said 'Em (Updated I)

1. Perhaps the most important lesson I learned is that this is a serious problem that cannot be solved by anything less than a well-conceived, well-executed, and cooperative effort by everyone involved....

2. From my experience in Northern Ireland I learned that letting go of the past and looking to the future is a very hard but necessary step toward dealing with an ongoing problem.

3. There was a collective failure to recognize the problem as it emerged and to deal with it early on.

4. Chuck Knoblauch is a juicer! Me, I said that.

See if you can guess where I got these quotes. I'll give you a hint. As of page 236 of 409, there is not one single incident that I was not already aware of other than the footnotes where Mitchell got letters from Congress describing stuff to his moronic self. More than 90% of this report so far is historical data and minutia that doesn't matter to anything. Who cares that Steve Howe did coke? That was 16 years ago. Maybe I was misinformed on what this study/report was supposed to be. I'm guessing that Selig needed something to level his pool table with and it just happened to take 409 sheets of 8 1/2" x 11" paper.

And here's a little tidbit. This is a double spaced, footnoted to Hell report. At page 236, there were first about seven pages of intro copy crap and index, then 37 pages of fluff called Summary and Recommendations, then two fly sheets, then FINALLY, the beginning of the real report. I am guessing that this report is actually about 45 pages of normal type. If this cost more than thirty five dollars, someone got ripped off, badly.

As far as quote number two above, WTF? Could someone please tell me just what in the mortal Hell that Northern Ireland has to do with baseball? Damn, if Mitchell starts comparing his study/report to his hemorrhoid surgeries, someone is going to get hurt. What a humongous turd.

The thing that bothers me the most is that there is a section where Mitchell calls out individual players without any proof other than one person's word and copies of canceled checks that do not have "Steroids" written on the subject line. Man, this is slander. If I was The Rocket, I would roll up to Maine and beat the shit out of Mitchell. That is how we handle stuff like that where I'm from.

I have read 236 pages, most of which are white space and historical footnotes, it is absolutely useless for anything other than fire starter. Please, someone else start reading this too, so you can back me up. I will send it to you right friggin' now!

This is awfully stupid. I cannot believe that Selig didn't punch Mitchell in the damn throat when he handed him this shit.

I am losing my mind trying to find out where the financing came from for this crap. George Mitchell, be afraid of me.

Update: I am not sure if I have to change my tune, but Jose Canseco is on my side and I ain't liking it one damn bit. Article HERE.