The Arithmetic of Politics

I am following the Presidential races closely, but curiously not one outlet seems to be talking about exactly how many people have voted Republican in the two George W. Bush elections. This may surprise you because according to every single unhinged Leftist mainstream press source, we all agree on how bad Bush sucks. The numbers seem to prove quite the contrary to the overwhelming majority of what you hear.

You see, there are fifty-five million registered Republicans in this country, there are one hundred sixty-five million registered Democrats. Clearly the Democrats jump from their party in wild hordes for the National elections to send the Republican candidate over the top. In the last Presidential election, Bush received 62,040,606 votes, Kerry received 59,028,109, while Master Nader got 411,304. Nader IS Charlie Brown Halloween personified, yet again Pearl Jam will pull out all the stops supporting him.

(Why people care what musicians, athletes, actors, and actresses think dumbfounds me.)

Please remember that the President is elected by the states through the Electoral College, it is not simply a popular vote, but those numbers are telling. In order for Bush to win solely on the Republican vote, he would have had to receive seven million votes MORE than there are Republicans and fully two-thirds of Democrats would have had to stayed home.

Simple "head-not-in-ass" tells us that is ridonkeylous, so whats up with that? Lemme tell you what I think.

People vote for local issues mainly. You want that culvert replaced down by Sam's house because it tore the left front grounds effect off of Espn's Accord. What you really didn't even consider is that Espn was drunk out of his gourd and was going ninety miles an hour and got airborne on a manhole cover. But, Espn is such a great kid, he got all C's last nine weeks!

Ronnie Chappel, the guy that is living next door to Sam is running for city council just to get that culvert fixed. It's the one policy that he wants to implement, but he didn't tell you that he wants that culvert fixed because the run-off of water goes across his property and it makes the South corner of his backyard too wet for his marijuana. He is a Democrat, but he has your vote because of the culvert and because he loaned you his gas powered Weedeater so you could cut back the ivy that was covering your back fence. Oh, another sign he is a Democrat is that he grows, distributes, and smokes weed.

Then we vote for our state politicians. You voted for Steve Bates for Attorney General because he promised that he would end the tax moratorium for the large manufacturing outfit that added two thousand jobs in your district. You applied for a job there, but the JAPANESE regional director told you that they had already filled all of the manufacturing jobs. Your union head told you that is really because they won't accept union employees. Nevermind the fact that all you have to do is quit the union to get the job you want.

Steve Bates says that he is running so he can make the manufacturing facility pay more taxes, they are not paying their fare share, but he is really running because that very same manufacturing facility refused to hire him as lead council for their business and gave the contract instead to Laura Estern, a WOMAN! He'll show her! Oh, and Steve is a Democrat, remember, he's a sexist, like the favorite Democrat of all time. Guess who?

Then we vote for our State Congressmen. You haven't been able to get a job because there are not many jobs left. Unemployment is at its lowest level ever and all of the rich corporations are running the small shops out of business. Never mind that fully eighty percent of jobs are small business jobs, you are union and none of those businesses want "flanking" union employees. Reggie Coleman is running for Representative in your district on the platform of "creating" jobs. He's your man!

Nevermind the fact that the Federal Government does not run a single business that creates jobs. Nevermind the fact that the entire purpose of our Congress is to make laws, I'm guessing that you think that Reggie is going to push through a bill forcing Mort's Jerky Factory to open a union plant in your district. Reggie is a Democrat because he thinks that the goal of a politician is to create hope and change, rather than simply understanding that concept is ridiculous.

Then we vote for President. Republicans usually run on the platform of lowering federal taxes and you are tired of shelling out so much money for the people in another state to grow their ethanol corn and process it at a non-union plant. Democrats run on a platform of giving every single deadbeat something with your money.

You never stop to see that every single thing that you have voted for up to this point is the exact same thing on a more localized and smaller scale, so yearly, your opinions continue to soften to silly notions like nationalized healthcare. Janine, your wife, keeps telling you that if you don't stop paying your union dues while you are not working, that y'all are going to have to go on the beans and rice diet. Her paycheck from the Jiffy Mart is simply not enough to make ends meet. So to you, the economy is B-A-D!

Republicans want a stronger military and damned if you don't like watching those ragheads git blowed up. Nevermind that you are a Democrat, you want to see death and suffering because THAT is the party platform. Oh, and racism.

Oh, the moral of the story is one from an old book that I re-read every year or so. If there are contradictions, check your premises. And people vote Democrat for President because they want everyone to be as miserable as they are.

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