Bean's Easter-Day Black truth for the Dark Man and Woman

After perusing the stony hillsides of the Afghan nation, sipping on chai and macking with the sweet Mullah's, I stumbled (literally) upon the secret ancestry of my people. I know now for a fact that my people (Black, African American, Negro, Darkies--whatever the pc term for us is these days) are descendants of the South Western Asian people. That Roots movie was waaaaaayyy wrong.

I have grown up proud of the fact that my race of people stood out among others when it came to their ability to "nigga-rig"(NR) products of discard. I have always been baffled at the fact that you have never seen Africans portraying such a marvelous display of technical know how. For all of those who have ever been to the Big Apple, you know what I am talking about. It's the perfect show of the vast difference between Blacks and Africans. If you go to the African "street vendor" he unfurls a sheet revealing their best attempt at squandered technology--third rate cd's and dvd's. Pure child's play in being a true "nigga-rigger". On the other hand, If you go to Black "street vendor" he opens up his jacket (see-even the method of discreetness is more advanced) to reveal carjacked stereo systems, dubs (20-in rims for the non-geners), and discount coupons to his friend Shaniece who sells modern fashion wear in the back of her boutique--m,'kay?. I digress too far from topic.

Anyway, I'm walking with my Mullahs in the back shouting "Praise be to Allah", right, and I see a 50 kw generator stripped of its plug, powered by spliced wires from the missing plug-in and grounded by a power cable spliced on both ends and attached to metal. I was in awe. I mean, who else other than my people could be such masters at the art of "nigga-rigging". So, I called my homies to verify that this was indeed a true work of NR. Lil Bookie, our head NR, confirmed what I thought to be true, this generator was "nigga-rigged". It was at that moment that Allah gave me a shout out.

"Yo, Bean. WTF up? You peep this sign I show before thee?"

"Word. But this can't be right GD. Alex Haley said this ain't the way things went down. I'm sposed to be from Africa."

"Check this Bean. I made you. You can't be nothing without me. Word is bond on that."

"Aight, I dig. But my people gon' be mad. Hell, we bought a lot of merchandise and made a lot of movies about Africa. We can't say Black power during the middle of Kite Runner. We'd look like fools."

"Bean, thus I have spoken and thus is the message you will spread."

So, here I am to tell you that all these years we were wrong. All Black people, came from Afghanistan--not Africa. Damn.