All the News that is Laugh Inducing

A point of order here. If you are a woman, why would you want equal pay for equal work? Doesn't that actually price you out of the job market and put you on par with the soon to be unemployed men? OH SHIT! We need a federal government bailout of women, too! And Millicent, can you please bring that carton of 8 1/2 x 11 paper into the copy room? Mmmmmkay? Thanks.

On to the dumping, this newsday has already started to CROWN.

We all know that Search is King, but can someone please tell me why ANYONE would search for "Britney Spears?" Do you just want to read about trailer trash or white trash, all day, every day? (Yes, I know YOU do, (Dead) Tommy 5.)

The call for the abolition of the Constitution has already started. Let's just do away with that pesky right to BE ARMED. Guns just make everyone so uncomfortable, you know.

I am so glad that our educational system has started to allow SCIENTISTS to dance, they have always SEEMED SO UPTIGHT. And grotesquely uncoordinated.

I guess that the only thing that would appear more stupid than dancing molecules, would be giving Teddy Kennedy an honorarium from a college that EXPELLED HIM FOR CHEATING. Nothing is mutually exclusive, Harvard. Andy the Redneck has a great article, APPROPRIATELY TITLED, about this stupidity.

And as long as we are laughing at the morons, wonder what the moonbats think of our military? Well, YOU KNOW. But, instead of dancing, let's act it out.

Newsfolk are STUNNED that the election of Barry Obama didn't instantaneously END TERRORISM. Well shit, it's because the TERRORISTS DIDN'T GET THE MEMO. It's all good now, they got it after that little dust-up in Bombay.

What's up with Barry's birth certificate since he was supposed to give it to the Supremes yesterday? Well, he didn't, and that is GETTING INTERESTING. Anthrax? Awesome.

Wonder what you do if you are an moonbat artist and get an opportunity to create an ornament for the White House Christmas tree? Well, of course you create one that promotes IMPEACHMENT!

This just in, Opie Taylor is a DOUCHEBAG! Where did Pa go wrong?

Since the National Championship Game is about to be played in Atlanta between Bammeroids and the Gates, maybe you should get your bets down. All bets involving music performed by Creed are WELCOMED. The video is perfect, guys.

Keep it out da ditch, y'all.

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