People That Should Never Be Allowed To Breed

Excerpt from an actual conversation:

She: Every time I try to text someone, I get a voicemail.

Me: That is AMAZING!

She: But I can never get the voicemail!

Me: Well, maybe you are doing something wrong.

She: I am doing it just like they showed me.

Me: Who showed you how to text message?

She: Connie at work.

Me: Is this the same Connie that cannot figure out how to microwave macaroni?

She: Yes.

Me: Well, there you go.

This conversation occurred between my mother and me. My mother cannot understand that a cordless landline telephone has a maximum range, yet still thinks that she can only use the cellphone that I gave her in the immediate area surrounding the Alltel store. She has asked, "Do you think that I am not getting calls because I am too far from the store?"

Needless to say, she had her phone set up to send a message to her phone every time that she sent a text message. And since she had her own cellphone number stored in her phone as "Voicemail," the return text appeared as a message from "Voicemail." I still have yet to figure out why that return message would even be an option. Any ideas?

And NO, my mother should not have ever been allowed to reproduce.

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