Elizabeth Alexander's Ode to...uh...Yeah...No Clue

In the rush to sound like the MOST stupid moron during the entire festivities yesterday, Elizabeth Alexander read what obviously is a "poem" she wrote while high on mushrooms or something. Honestly, we should close all colleges if this is the best of the best of poetry writers. Watch the video and then see below for my very first attempt at writing poems and see which is better. Her...reading...skills...irritating.




Uh, hem....this is a little ditty entitled,

"Mediocrity is Wholly Attainable"

Whoop...whoop...whoop...YEE...HAW!
I'ms izzies writing da pomes....
Monster truck......
Big. Bigger. Biggest.

Tarrs.

Yippie...KIY...Yay.

Plastic...fantastic...lobster...telephone*

Yes, at one point, I had a job that mattered,
now I just sit and watch my ego grow.

Yale, Harvard, Princeton.

All morons and useless to the man that thinks.

Hopeless morons find their success in another person,

WHILE...THEY...STARVE.

Four years of many beers.

And pasture parties to write off as entertainment expenses.

To...keep...my...earnings...MINE.

Please take the time to comment.

* Ian Astbury - Aphrodisiac Jacket