Since We are ALL Leftards Now

As you are well aware, we are all Leftists now and nothing happens for any reason at all. So, obviously there is no explanation at all why the Dow has gained 302.42 at 1:26pm. It is just magic with no reason at all.

NAW MAN! It has nothing to do with all of the sudden our US currency is worth about half of what it was on Friday and the world is gobbling up stuff at bargain basement prices, huh? No, no reason at all, sir, ma'am, ambiguous other.

Folks, the collapse of our market is impending. Your time to bail is right this minute. The end is nigh. Yes, we might have a couple more days of climbing, but the TWO TRILLION bucks about to be released will be the final nail in the coffin.

Feh. It's only the rich people that are about to be clobbered.

The economy has gotten so bad, even the chosen footwear of this little blog author has been CRUSHED. Yes, Crocs are dead. (Half-staff flag raised by: Andy)

Crazy people have taken to the streets to oppose the Dear Leader and his altruistic policies. Four thousand NUTS braved the HARSH globally warmed climate of the Orlando area to HATE, promote GREED, and push RACISM.

Before you know it, no one shall be able to attend the free college of their choice. Everyone shall be forced to graduate with their 16th Century Poetry degree from Visalia Community College in Swampwater Creek, Tennessee. All because of hate and racism.

The People's State of Obamaland and the People's State of Chavezville shall enter into a pact of loathing and we shall always be at war with Chavezville, just as we have always been at war with Chavezville. You Ignoramus. Emmanuel Goldstein responds.

Not only that, but since we are friends with Chavezville and always have been, our enemy, the People's State of France, will change the names of their leaders to try to embarrass Big Brother. The PSoF has designs to conquer us, just as they always have had those designs. We have always been at war with them.

And since we have always been at war with the People's State of Achmideanajihadianastan, they have taken to attempting to assassinate Big Brother because of their fierce love of Capitalism and their hatred of their fellow man. They have no concept of Ingsoc and we shall always be at war with them. They have had this ideology since before the time of the reckoning of the past establishment of Big Brother. Greedy Capitalists!

Even when the past establishment of Big Brother developed an Ingsoc country in the forbidden lands of Africa, the leaders turned into the apex of altruism and love. All Hail Big Brother and his righteousness. Ingsoc has always been the way to enlightenment and plenty.

Why wouldn't the entire world fall at Big Brother's feet and capitulate and assimilate from the strength of his knowledge and words? Articulate, clean, altruistic. This is NOT a contradiction.

Big Brother is a jovial and caring entity. He finds the humor in all about him.

All those in the Ministry of Plenty have the best interests of all of us at heart. They can do no wrong as long as altruism is at the heart of their actions.

Those at the Ministry of Peace have joined in the fight to promote the ideals of the human race. Their efforts are NOT FORGOTTEN. They are the epitome of love, peace, and selflessness.

And all of their words are PERFECT. We should rejoice in their success and efforts.

Everything is better from their efforts. They have no failures at all.

Now, here's a song about a car.



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