A Day in the Life

Since the minimum wage is quickly lurching toward ONE MILLION DOLLARS PER HOUR, here's an excerpt from an actual conversation:

Dirty, filthy, homeless type dude: Hey, buddy, you got a coupla dollars?

Me: Certainly. (As I continue to get into the car.)

Dirty, filthy, homeless type dude: (Walking up to the car window.) Well, are you going to give it to me?

Me: I shall give you two dollars to wash my car.

Dirty, filthy, homeless type dude: (Arching eyebrows to scary proportions.) Are you serious?

Me: Absolutely.

Dirty, filthy, homeless type dude: You are only going to pay me two dollars to wash a car?

Me: Yup.

Dirty, filthy, homeless type dude: Fuck you dude.

Me: Bathe first, you might have a chance.

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