Shower Solutions

As most smart folks do, I usually solve all of the world's problems while showering. This is where I developed the idea of the World's Worst Sandwich™ contest, too. Just so you know, it is banana and horseradish, for reals, trust me.

Anyhoo, with the "healthcare" thingy in my head, I entered the Think Tank this morning. As usual, I cut the ever-loving SHIT out of my throat while shaving. The morning delirium tremens usually provide the shaky hands that make shaving inherently dangerous. Being an incredibly heavy drinker (read Catholic) there are some quality of life issues that take a nutpunch in the morning.*

Now, this morning's game show attacks the "healthcare" VICTIM hierarchy. With the throat cut-ty thing going on, I wondered how I would place in the RIGHT to medical services. So, I decided to develop in my opinion the ULTIMATE PATIENT. You take a shot in the comments, too!

Here's my PRIORITY PATIENT: An illegal Haitian Muslim immigrant parolee on the sexual predator list from a child rape conviction, that is a transgendered homosexual with full blown AIDS, who pulls a HAMMY while running from the police after committing a gun murder during a botched drug deal in the 'Hood.

Your turn.

Please take the time to comment.

*Yes, I basically quit drinking again about two years ago, soooo.