Since February, my life has been embroiled in DRAMA. I have no clue what it is about me, but I am a damned drama magnet. I am tired of that, too, so I gathered up my manliness and ditched every piece of the drama. But, I have realized a bunch of stuff about myself in the process.
I still miss Carla. I never did get the chance to apologize to her for all of the shit that I caused in our lives by being a dumbass when I was younger. And I am still paying for that crap, too. Sometimes when the wind is right, I absolutely CRINGE over some of the stuff that I did when I was younger. Yeah, I got scars, but I am wanting to get them patched up now.
So, here is what I did. On Monday, I did everything in my power to get Jules communications back up and running. I had it working, too, until her dumbass brother tried to change some settings and I had to disable remote access to keep him from screwing up my server. That sent me to the freaking moon, not only because she gave the most insane, unstable human in the world access to my server, but that when I sent the original message that those comms were back working, I explicitly stated, "DO NOT SCREW WITH ANYTHING." That lasted a WHOLE hour. Seriously, his brain is so damned dense that refrigerator magnets pelt him in the head as he walks by. Nothing that a really good ass-whupping couldn't cure, but I am DONE with that shit.
So, I shut my whole heart and mind down to it. I went ahead and decided that I would never place any trust in anyone enough to allow them access to my business server. I think that I actually wrote a post about that, HERE. I guess that was my attempt at "Do as I say, not as I do." Trust, it is a big issue with me, sometimes.
Anyhoo, I decided to roll time back to 2003 when things were good. Before Carla was dead. Before I drank myself stupid for three years. When I had goals and my eyes on the ball.
Today, I headed out to take care of all of the business that I have neglected since 2004. I GOT A DRIVER'S LICENSE, AGAIN!!! Not only that, I put my sweetheart truck in the shop and bought that sweet thing a new intake manifold gasket, got her radiator all fixed up again, new thermostat, and the air conditioning fixed, too! I drove around this afternoon until my ears were frozen. No, I am never getting rid of that truck. Carla and I bought that in July of 1998 for my 34th birthday. I love it, too. Best vehicle that I have ever had, I have little hope that I will find another one better.
I still have a few things that I need to do to it, but another big development in Paulland is that I snagged a FEMA contract work to perform SDs. Yeah, I am going to be in the Mississippi Delta for most of the month of June, July, August, and maybe September. If you have never been in the Delta, it shall be HOT. I currently weigh about 160 pounds and anticipate a 25-30 pound loss. I'm looking forward to it, too.
I have some wonderful Mississippi River memories from way back when. I can only hope that the bad times kinda get washed away while I am WORKING!!! I know when Carla died the only thing that really kept me from losing my mind was the work. Ninety hours a week was not a big deal, the other 78 were spent drunk out of my mind. I am never doing that again, though.
Imma get through all this crap and come out on the other side a better, stronger, more determined person. Exactly what everyone HATES about me. And y'all, hit your knees tonight and pray for Jules, she needs it more than even she knows.
Do you know why Obama stutters like Mel Tillis? Because he is a GENIUS?
Obamanomics' Quantitative Easing is a monumental failure.
The best numbers ever for Obamanomics. Remember six years ago when we were telling everyone that Barry Obama was a moron? We told you so.
Better take that greeter job at the Wal*Mart. It ain't looking good for the future.
And if you want to know how stupid the people are that spend federal dollars, this oughta show you. (No, it is NOT about Weiner's wiener.)
But, this is good news for every man's wiener. And you know what? This is good for a man's wiener, too.
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13 comments:
Thanks for bearing your soul Paul. I knew we had something in common.Mainly our contempt for Odamnit.And fondness of our trucks
God bless. Thanks again
Jo, if there exists a person on Earth that doesn't have contempt for President Assclown, they are pulling down the collective IQ of the world. Shame on them.
Thanks for sharing Paul. Sometimeas it's healing to get that shiite out.
Bless your heart, MoM.
The times that Life sucks, tends to help make most of us stronger. My rarely serious two cents worth.
Deb, I have written about 50,000 drama-filled words since Saturday, it better get out quick.
Skunks, God must think that I am in need of an assload of strength, then.
Good on ya, Paul, for dishin' up the personal. We appreciate your vulnerability. Best wishes for your upcoming Mississippi work.
FMP, it is right around one million degrees Celsius here. I am sure that my contract will involve a good amount of sweat.
Dude, you're gonna be in my prayers, because you'll be in the Delta...don't let the skeeters tote you off up there. I swear, the sun shines brighter in the rest of Mississippi than it does in the Delta. Awful place.
Boogie, you know that they bring it on themselves, right? How else would you explain Bennie Thompson having a job?
I'm really happy that your truck is cooled down, the work situation has heated up, and your life is levelizing. Drama can indeed drain a body and soul.
That skeeter advice -- good words! DEET-itize yourself.
Moogie, I had forgotten how cold it got in that old truck when the A/C worked right. The work situation is going to heat up even more when I deploy, though.
Skeeters love me. The feeling is NOT mutual.
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